Today my mom and i had an interesting conversion about my lack of femininity. It sorta went like this,
Mom: “Dhores you dress like a boy.”
Me: “Just stfu about it already.”
Mom: “I used to be hotter than you when we were the same and you know what I’m still hot now. BOOYA!”
Me: “At least my social identifier is being “the smart one.’”
Mom: “At least I’m not a cunt.”
Me: “You sure.”
Mom: “Don’t start.”
Me: “Don’t give me a reason too.”
Now that was the conversion in the extreme form of layman’s terms, in actually it wasn’t that painfully insulting to both parties but my mother and I have played this tango too many times to not to know the dance moves.
Now my mother and I are very different people, she’d just about burst of glee if you called her a girly girl while I’d deadpan myself to death at that. Now don’t get me wrong I LOVEEEEEEE fashion, makeup, and anything that is pretty but I do have limitations to how much power I let theses items have over me. At the end of the day I truly don’t care about the value of the items hanging up in my closet if I have nothing of real value hanging up in my mind.
But the real reason I bring this up is because constantly the stigma and judgment of superficiality and substance are regularly bought up, whether it is my mom or the people I have lunch at school initiating that conversion. Since when did the two S-words hold so much power over people that if one lacked in one area it was open season to belligerent comments?
Initially I wrote this the intention of saying how important striking a balance between superficiality and substance was and even give out tips to how that may be achieved. But at this point honestly just DO NOT give a flipping frank about others if they don’t respect your grind whether it be rocking a Balenciaga bag or comprehending La Boda de Sangra, because at the end of the day you’re the one who knows how much time and effort you’ve put in your own interests.
----Dhores
